Nanni’s Hijab teaches girls to be brave

I am no stranger to bullying.  Actually, I think there are few humans that are. I was the youngest child of all the children in my family. I grew up an only child, so cousins were the closest things I had to siblings. If you have siblings or cousins then you know that being bullied is a part of the dynamic. I have been bullied in the neighborhood as well. But wait! I was not a  total victim and this isn’t a permission slip to bully, but it is is a real-life discussion about a real-life childhood issue. Life is not always so black and white such as bully and victim. The “victim” has to stand up for themselves. And as antiquated and barbaric (think David and Goliath) as it may be, being bullied and standing up for yourself is a part of the dynamic of this dog-eat-dog life. Bullying happens on many different levels throughout life. Even adults are bullied. 

Now, I can hear some mom right now, “Noone should ever be bullied!” And she would be correct in saying so, but you know what? In today’s world,  more now than ever, we need to teach our children resilience and fighting back. Fighting back does not ALWAYS mean physically fighting back (although sometimes that happens) but it means standing up to the bully and the bully culture. As parents, we are charged with teaching our children emotional freedom, but if we teach them that all the world will be nice and care about their feelings, we would not have prepared them correctly.

In the story of Naani’s Hijab, Nanni faces a bully. The bully actually touches her and commits other offenses. She tells her mother, who offers to fix it, but she has to do it on own or be forever picked on. She would love to fight back, maybe even give the girl a black eye, but she knows there’s a better way. Nanni’s Hijab is a book about resilience, bravery, and reliance on God. Nanni will inspire young Muslimaat to be strong in the face of adversity while pleasing Allah and staying true to themselves. But there is also a secret message for Leslie, the bully. Read Nanni’s Hijab and discover what it is. Preorder Nanni’s Hijab @Djarabi Kitab Publishers

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Is it the end of #MeToo?

The end of #Metoo? During Oprah’s now infamous Golden Globe speech she declared that it was the end of the #Metoo and a new day was on the horizon. However, Ms.Winfrey was not speaking to black women who like herself were sexualized by a family member, no she was speaking to a group of women and girls who will go to Hollywood and on their mission to seek fame and fortune will no longer have to lie on their backs to gain entrance to the gateway. She proclaims that the women and girls will no longer have to keep quiet for being sexually abused; that they will be free to say” Me too“ out loud without judgment from anyone. Well, Ms.Winfrey you are wrong! That declaration of freedom has no more to do with the impoverished, disenfranchised communities than it did with the correlation with Ms. Recy Taylor. Now, I will be the first to admit that I did not know of Ms.Taylor until Oprah mentioned her, however, I will stand for the misuse of her name anyway. Oprah’s correlation of Ms.Taylor to the Hollywood mistresses of the me-too movement is abhorrent. Those women, unlike Ms.Taylor, had something to gain from keeping quiet but Ms.Taylor, like many other women, did not. She was threatened, raped by six men and given no monetary compensation for keeping quiet. She did not become a big Hollywood star, who went on to make millions only to come in power and scream rape. I’m not saying that any woman deserves to be raped but I am saying that those women had a purpose and reason to keep quiet. And it is only after keeping quiet benefitted them did they began to tell their “story” whereas Ms.Taylor and many other women around the globe do not benefit from either disclosure nor silence other than safety. These women and girls fear for their lives, their mental health and whatever kind of retribution that will never give them the power to say ME Too!
So, Ms.Winfrey, the new horizon that you speak of will not affect the little girl whose grandfather visits her nightly under the watchful eye her grandmother, or the woman who is persistently raped by her husband, or the elderly lady who is raped by her caretaker just because they can, or the little boy who will know sex before the knows love. No Ms.Winfrey, this declaration is a call to women and girls who have the privilege to have access to an alternative lifestyle other than one they originally belong to. Your declaration leaves out the women who have to live with or near, and sometimes serve their oppressor. And until every woman is free to speak on her sexual abuse free from retaliation hashtag me-too will rise and set on the same ole’ horizon it always has.

Getting past#Me too

These past few months have been a roller coaster of emotions as women all walks of life reveal secrets that have been haunting them for years. And no matter what your opinion is of the ladies, you have to say, no one deserves to be sexually abused for any reason.

Statistics show that no family is completely safe from sexual abuse. Either we have been abused or someone know has. The vile act has touched our lives in one way or another. The mass influx of accusations has shown whether rich, poor, or in the middle, sexual abuse is always possible. One in five  women will be raped in their lifetime .  1 in 4 girls will experience sexual abuse. 1 in 6 boys will suffer some unfortunate of being  sexually abused befor 18years old. 91% of sexual abuse victims are women. And eight out of ten sexual abuse cases reported the victims knew their attackers (NSVRC, 2015). One thing for certain, there is no shortage of predators. Predators are our fathers, uncles, cousins, brothers, neighbors, teachers, coaches and bosses. They look like us.  They live with us. They smile like us.  Sometimes, we even love them, and they say they love us. Whether the predator holds a controlling position with the ability to block your employment; family members who instead of caring for you, take it upon themselves and take your inocence; or a doctor, a coach or teacher who is suppose to guide us, these predators are sick.  They have ego problems; which is a mental illness. Instead of saying to themselves, I have no right to do this, they choose not to control their greed. And that, is their disease . Allah says what means, in their hears is a disease, and Allah has increased them in their disease (Surah Baqara, Ayat 10).  This ayat was for the hypocrites( May Allah protect us from being one) but whenever a person persists in doing perverted behaviors whether sexual or otherwise Allah increases them in that behavior until they leave it.

A predator’s bad behaviors doesn’t stop at molestation, rape or whatever perverted crime they commit. Their illness reach every aspect of their lives. If you look into their lives you will  see a life full of turmoil; no matter what it looks like from the outside. Their marriages, employment, social lives, most of all, their spiritual lives are in disarray. Why? Because predators are selfish.  And selfish narcissistic people can’t love. Selfish people can’t give more of themselves because they are vultures. They steal from others to make themselves happy. They don’t care about anyone other than themselves. And after all the misery they cause they leave their victims to deal with the ramifications of their abuse; whatever that is.

No matter when the abuse, rape or assault happens, it is devestating. Sometimes the effects trauma may lasts a lifetime.  Symptoms such as depression, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and burdensome can result(rainn.org, 2016). On top of all that, helplessness.  But your life doesn’t have to be arrested by the assault; you can get past #Me too”.

You will never get over being abused; someone stole something from you. And you’ll never get it back. But you can heal from it. It is a long tedious process, but it can be done. Here are some steps I’ve taken to heal and grow in my journey.

1.It is not your fault. It was never your fault. You have to know and believe this. If you don’t, you will blame yourself for the crime of another for the rest of your life.

2. Don’t fight the healing process. Damn this crap hurts. When someone steals something from you, it hurts. And like all injuries, your soul needs time to heal. Let it do that.

3. Forgive the people that were supposed to protect you. Easier said than done, but it is hopeless to keep a grudge against those people. Truth is they failed to do their job; they f-cked up. Point. blank.period. And there is no fixing that. But if you keep the anger in you against them it will only kill your own soul.

4.Go slow. This may sound like number two, but seriously, I can’t reiterate enough how important it is to take the healing process one day at a time.

5.Cuss! Cuss the motherfcker out that harmed you. Whether they are alive or dead, down the street or across the country,  look in the mirror and cuss them out. Tell them how you hate you what they did. Tell them you wish them dead for what they did, if that’s what you feel. The goal is to say what you need to say and leave it. Don’t revisit it. Don’t give them that kind of power.

6. Don’t forgive! Don’t forgive your perpetrator unless that is what YOU feel is the right thing for you to do. Family and friends will try and pressure you into saying you forgive them but don’t give into it. In the still of the night after you have cried, cussed, and released you may find forgiveness. Then you do whatever you to do to keep yourself intact.

7. Dua! Dua! Dua! (prayer) Make dua that Allah relieve you from chains of sadness. Ask Him to have mercy on you and remove the pain.

8. Last but not least: live! Live the best life you can.  I don’t know if predators think about the harm they cause but I can say that living well is always the best revenge. Be happy! Love your family! Love God! Do whatever you can, but live well!

I love you for Allah’s sake and for my own selfish reasons. And if you ever need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to reach out to me @ iamdeej76@gmail.com

or call Safe Help @ 1-877-995-5247 http://www.safehelp.org

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

You never have to suffer alone.

References

Statistic About Sexual Violence. (2015). Retrieved December 04, 2017, from https://www.nsvrc.org/

Victims of Sexual Violence. (2016.). Retrieved December 04, 2017, from https://www.rainn.org/

Am I a B-tch?

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As I sat on the sofa enthralled in my latest novel adventure, my phone rang, it was my daughter calling to tell me that a friend of hers called her a bitch. “Why did she say that”, I replied.  “Because another girl told me to shut up and I laid into her,”  she explained. “Oh! I said, were you supposed to let her slide?” “I guess so”, she replied. Don’t worry about her calling you a b-tch. They want you to lower your wings so you’ll be easier to handle and talk down to. Don’t give them that power.”

The word b-tch and what it represents have driven me insane my entire life.  A loud, foul mouth, a woman who nags is how a bitch is usually described. But I would argue that to survive in this world every woman needs a little b-tch in her. You see, the word is used by men to take away the power of a woman; to remove from her the desire to fight for her rights or possibly her life.  Unfortunately, it is used the same way by women who want to dominate you but need you to let your guard down first. If you stand in your b-tchiness and refuse to let someone penetrate your fortress, they will have no choice but to respect you or leave you alone.When you give up your b-tch power you give the world permission to do and say what they please to you.superwoman

I lost my b-tch power for a while and it made me feel like a victim.  I gave it up freely because I wanted people to feel comfortable around me. I wanted people to feel protected and safe against my God-given b-tchiness. To be truthful, I didn’t know how to use my b-tch power. It was wild and untrained, snapping at any and everything. I mean, I came from a long line of independent women who didn’t take any sh-t from anyone, ever! Instead, I became a passive pushover who let anyone get their load off on her. Now, I believe that Allah sends you people to remind you of what you forgot or give you what you need like Khidr to Musaa. Except it doesn’t always look like a kind-hearted, patient sheik and a willful student; sometimes it looks like a beatdown with a few blows to the gut or ego. I was sent an old friend, who I had lost touch with. She came in like a storm while I was in my most laid back passive form of fasting and abstaining from people. I couldn’t keep up with her energy but I could recognize what the message was: “fight back!”   I couldn’t fight back because over the years I had developed, what I thought was to be a zahid type of mentality: teach her because she doesn’t understand the sunnah of how to treat a Muslim. That type of thinking is all good but it has to be moderated so that in our teaching we are not harming our own souls. The Sunnah is vast,  and with exemplifying it comes a great responsibility to bear. One must know his own soul and the limits of it. The Prophet (peace be upon him) had his chest cracked open twice and washed to be purified to withstand the trials of the world. He was al Khaatam the one whose status was raised over all other prophets and people.  We are mere mortals, with limits. If we try to bear every blast of the world without protecting ourselves we will surely succumb and crumble. I believe we were granted the power of the b-tch as our superpower and as a protection. It is a means to get our rights in this world when met with resistance or possible oppression.  The secret is to know how to use it. You have to harness the power, develop it and know when, where and on who to use it.  The real magic in the b-tch power is wisdom; when you have wisdom you will be fearless and unstoppable. So, am I a bitch? I haven’t been, but I plan to be. 🙂100095c401f6df3c4e6b61bb7caab82e--wonder-woman-comic-wonder-women

Thankfulness to healthfulness

Which of the favors of your Lord will you deny? Quran 55:40

I was depressed for years maybe a little over a decade of pure misery. Most people would not believe that because I could always be caught smiling, but the truth was I was dying on the inside. Then one day after a spell of crying and locking myself in my room, as I so often did, I cried out to my Lord. And as much fairy tale as this seems I was given the ability to get up and wash my face and brush my teeth. Small treasures but I was thankful- thankful that I was able to breathe again. I could breathe a long deep breath of peace. The days that followed were not easy, but I got up every day and tried again.  The beauty of life is as long as you live you can change- you can win. You may not get that million dollar business, live on the Fiji islands or climb Mount Kilimanjaro but you can live a complete and healthy life.  You can enjoy life as long as you learn to count your blessings as the great Ashford and Simpson once sang. It may be dark now but it won’t always be. There will be light.

To help you get you started I want to share a little trick I learned from Oprah to help you appreciate your life: press your middle finger against your thumb and feel that pulse beating. That is your lifeline; it is the blood running from your heart to all of your blessed organs.  As a famous artist once said,”My heart beating fast to let a brother know that he alive!” No matter how bad it is, trust me when I tell you it will get better. You are breathing; thank God for that.  But it doesn’t happen by itself; you have to work at it. It doesn’t matter how little work you do as long as you do something. You have to love your life-love your breath- love the skin you’re in. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, right now is a chance to start over. The first thing you must know in order to love yourself is to know that God doesn’t make mistakes and all that you’ve done and do is by design. Know that God’s mercy outweighs His wrath. God almighty forgives if you ask Him. Forgive yourself to love yourself.

Let’s try loving ourselves. Start small with something just for you: paint your nails, pick a flower, smile at a stranger, do your hair. Just do something that allows you to appreciate your life. Each day do something else-something bigger. Never give up on your life, because it’s not over until it’s over.

Until next time, live an unconventional life

 

 

Why I wanted to be a victim

I was watching an Oprah Winfrey interview about living in her intentions. She spoke about when she began to have more money than she needed to care for herself(her words)  that she would give money to charities, friends and long-lost family. She gave money to whoever came knocking. She wanted to be seen as generous. She felt bad if people thought she was greedy or stingy. But she felt like she was being taken advantage of.  And she gave anyway and continued to feel like she was betraying herself. Her intentions were false; they didn’t align with her actions. She was internally conflicted: giving without the right cause, although she detested it. So, what changed for Ms.Winfrey?  A  book! That’s right a book. She read a book on living within your intentions. In short, the book said that your intentions were the basis for your actions and your intentions are what people responded to; the golden rule of what you give is what you receive. I was sitting in my arm chair and felt a jolt of reality as I listened to her words. An airy feeling of familiarity came over me. She did those things because she wanted to be seen as nice, so people treated her like she was nice.

Ms. Winfrey and I had a lot in common, I too wanted to be seen as nice and sweet. I wanted to be seen as drama free and easy-going. So, I let them take privilege with their treatment of me. I accepted their abuse, sly comments and other nonsense. I wanted them to think I was easy, so that treated me like I was easy. I wanted my friendships to be drama free on my end, so I never stood up for myself in a dispute or debate. I wanted all of my relationships to be maintenance free, so I pretended as if things didn’t bother me when they did. There it was, I was living in my intention, to be seen as nice. I would say things, “like why are they so mean? I’m so nice to them.  I give her all the time she needs to vent and rant, and she never listens to me.” I whined and cried because I wanted to be the victim. I wanted to be pitied. I wanted to be accepted, so I hid my anger. I suppressed my natural desire for respect so that people would feel easy around me. WOW! Yes, I said accepted, and I said it out loud. Then that’s when ms.Winfrey’s interview came into play. I heard myself in her speech. I had to sit back and take a moment to figure out what my intentions truly were. What did I really want from the behavior I was giving and the behavior I was taking. And girl… when they were revealed, I was shocked. I was telling people how to treat me, not through my words, not through my actions, but through my intentions. What a revelation!

I have posted several posts in the past and recently about how people have wronged me or sucked me into a toxic relationship. Although, if I were truthful in the matter, I would have to say I was never a victim. I earned every betrayal, every word of disrespect and every game played. I earned every bit of it. No, this isn’t some type of piety. No! This is an admission on the part I played in the toxicity. With all of the one-sided friendships, verbally abusive friendships, and Masjid bullying, I was never a victim. Although those people were not exonerated from their harsh behavior, I gave them the inches and they took yards. Being nice is not always religious or spiritual, sometimes it’s superficial. Guess what? People can smell that. So, they deliver to you what seek, to be seen as nice.

“Indeed actions are judged by their intentions إنَّمَاالأَعْمَالُبِالنِّيَّات”

I had to reevaluate the purpose of wanting to be seen as good or nice. Like, who was that benefitting? Not me for sure, if the intention isn’t right then there is no benefit. I began to revamp, and I am still revamping. You must clean house when you want to heal. And when you heal people will be upset with you. They will wonder why the big change. They will go to great lengths to alter your course. However, you must not give in; stay the course. You must be diligent in keeping with your authentic self; staying within your true intentions. People will be people, and you should always try to make excuses for people, but from a distance. I love you, from over here. I want good for you, from over here. I pray for you, from way over here. And if I happen to come in your space and your energy, your words, don’t sit well, I will make my choices from authentically questioning my intentions like “do you matter? Does this matter?” and move accordingly. 

I’ll take authenticity with a side of love, please!

 

We hear a lot about toxic relationships, but what do they look like in our lives? How can we tell toxic people from real, true relationships?  For the next few posts, we will explore what they look and how they show up in your life…Toxic people are not always loud, obnoxious, or rude; sometimes toxic people are sweet, kind and appear religious. But if they’re so sweet kind and religious then how can they be toxic? Easy! Their religiousness has nothing to do with you. Her relationship with Allah has nothing to do with you. How many times she prays, fasts or whatever other ibadah she does has nothing to do with you. Because the sweet kind sister who always shows up when you’re in need ALWAYS want you to be in need of her. She doesn’t want you to grow. She doesn’t want you to leave her. She needs the energy you send her. And after she “helps” you, she low key throw shots at you all the time( yes, that was slang). She is silently taking notes so that she can remind you at every turn of every “problem”. You deal with it because you tell yourself maybe that’s not what she meant, but it is exactly what she meant and MORE! So, you confront her as easy as possible because you don’t want to seem insecure, crazy or worse yet offend her; but of course, she is offended anyway. So, I want you to read the following and tell me if it at all feels familiar; it goes a little something like,

“ I’m sorry you feel that way. I never meant for you to take it like that. I only had the BEST of INTENTIONS. I love you. You are my sister in Islam. I only want the best for you.”

Got chills, don’t you? Yes, because this kind of passive aggressive toxicity is global. But let’s explore her response, “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”- now, this seems politically correct. It is a way to put space between her actions and your feelings. “I never meant for you to take it like that.”-No, she didn’t mean for you to take it like that; she meant for you to lie down and allow her to say whatever to you WITHOUT taking it personally or having any feelings about what she says. “I only had the best of intentions.”- You can’t look inside someone’s heart to see their intentions. Intentions are not your concern. Your only concern is how they act towards you or treat you. Leave their intentions between them and Allah. “ I only want the best for you.”- What does that even mean??? Like, really!!! You want the best for me, how? How does that statement show up in a conversation like this, but it always does.

So, here you are feeling confused about the confrontation. You feel unsure about your own understanding of the relationship between the two of you. You tell yourself, maybe it’s me. But in reality, you know it isn’t. However, you continue the relationship in hopes of a little change. And guess what??? IT NEVER CHANGES!!! You know why? Because she has not accepted her part in toxicity, and you continue to doubt your feelings and intelligence. So, what do you now? You can either have the talk again, and hope she changes, but as the saying goes, “ once someone shows you who they are, believe them!” You can ignore her behavior just because you want to continue being friends with her.  Eventually, you will explode one way or another. You will begin to internalize her sentiments or blow up at her at the most inopportune time. Lastly, you can cut your loss and keep it moving. Trust your gut; this relationship is bad, and bad for you. Give it a big bismillah and keep on trucking. Don’t look back, it only dried barren land behind you. You can’t make people treat you a certain way, but you do have a choice. You have the choice to stay and accept it, stay and make boundaries, or go! You have the choice. Trust yourself. Trust Allah! Every “good” Muslim is not good for you, and they do not have to be in your life.

Ma salaama, see you next time here, on The Unconventional Muslimah.

I waste paint(sometimes)… for a good reason

It was just about a year ago, I was feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. I left my old familiar city and moved to a not so new but not so familiar city. In Philadelphia I knew everything. I knew where to get the best halal food, which park had the coolest people, which museum had the free or discounted days and which neighborhood I should not go to at night. Life was okay; I was content with it.  In contrast, I didn’t know anything about Memphis, the city or the people. Then like that, I was moving. It was my obligation to set up the new city. I needed to make it our new home; to make everyone comfortable…everyone, but me. I was in a funky place, and the last thing I wanted was to meet new people.  I intended to have a temper tantrum for the entire time I lived here.  Instead, like lady Hajar, whom Allah built a city around, I too, was sent intervention to kill my loneliness.  I met lovely sisters who invited me to their homes, time after time.  The sisters were warm and welcoming; I was completely at home in their presences. However, despite their warm welcome I still felt immensely heavy hearted. At home, going outside in the early mornings to feed the pigeons was a sure-fire stress reliever. Yet, in Memphis, feeding pigeons wasn’t an option. And my usual of journal writing just wasn’t doing it. A sister friend invited my family to her home for dinner and gave me a tour of her hand crafted art pieces. She expressed to me that not only did she enjoy crafting, but art was therapy for her. I was intrigued, so I pressed her to teach me or give me information on how to get started. She acquiesced and held an art class in the park. It was amazing. It was the beginning of something new, something beautiful. Who knew that something I despised doing in elementary school except for the opportunity it provided to get out of class, would be a brilliant way to release tension. Just the mere smearing of acrylic paint onto a  blank canvas was cathartic. Followed by bringing a thought from and just idea to actuality was breathtaking.

 

Art expresses thoughts and emotions without giving life to words. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, but sometimes words have a way of keeping an emotion around; making it stagnant and difficult to release. Sometimes, I want a way to say what I am feeling without seeing it again or fear of someone else reading it. Sometimes, I want to keep what I am feeling between me and Allah, alone.  No matter how good or bad the final product, painting does that for me. With painting,  I able to let go of whatever is bothering me, and focus on the rest of my day.  Art is welcomed part of my healing process, along with keeping good company and having readily available, good smells to fill my home with. Good vibes all around. However, making the time for art is a task at times. Yet, when I absolutely need to I make time.

 

Now you, in what way, other than religious rituals, do you employ to connect with Allah? Do you find it difficult to make time and space to find unwind and get centered? Often times we want khushu^ in our salah, but our minds are so cluttered we can’t even think straight. What if you just found a place and opportunity to let it all go, and then approach your Lord with a clear heart and mind? How much of a difference would that make in your life?  I am going to give you two exercises, that work for me, to play with. Many times we can’t find time away from the kiddies to get it together, so these exercises are perfect to try with them. Just give them their own tools and let’em go for it. So, try them and let me know how they work for you by leaving a comment under this post.

 

Exercise one: When you’re feeling flustered and scattered, take a crayon, any color, a just scribble hard and wild all over the blank paper. Use as many colors as you would like until you are all done. That’s it! Oom(in my yogi voice)…doesn’t that feel good?

 

Exercise two: Gather your paints ( cheap ones from Wal-mart will do), Paper, and something to write with. Write simple one-word descriptions of how you feel all over the paper. Remember to keep it simple.  Spread white paint over the words. Let it dry. Now, do whatever you feel like doing; paint a picture, draw a picture, finger paint, it doesn’t matter! What matters is that you do whatever feels good to you and that your mind is clutter free.

 

Try one and let me know in the comments what works for you. Be safe and be strong! See you here soon(in sha Allah) at Ramblings of an Unconventional Muslimah.

Be your own hero

For years, I waited for a knight in shining armor until I realized that person doesn’t exist. Life happens at your weakest point. At your breaking point is where the magic takes place. And it’s okay to bend…I would argue it’s okay to break.  Broken doesn’t mean it’s over or that it can’t be better than before. The “breaking” is only the beginning. The Japanese invented a process whereby they repair broken pottery with gold making the pottery more valuable than it previously was. So, you can be better… stronger than before the pain.  But we’re scared of the pain. We were reared to be scared of the pain. We take Tylenol at the slightest flinch of a headache. We get needles in our back to reduce the natural pain of childbirth. We are told that if someone loves us they would NEVER hurt us.

We hate pain. So, when it happens we do not know what to do with it. We freeze and let the pain seep into our hearts; it takes over.  Instead of going through the natural process of grieving we hold on to the pain and suffer in it. We bask in it; turning natural pain into depression. This is where the hero is supposed to enter and save us from ourselves…from defeat. But they never show! So, what are you to do when all there is you and your God. You get up slowly, one foot at a time. Then beg and plead for Allah to give you light… some guidance, and then strap up your boot laces and get your ish together. “Verily, ALLAH does not change the condition of people until they change what is within themselves.” (Sura ar-Ra`d 13:11) Because you have to be the hero to you. And if you have children, you have to be a hero for them as well.

“O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones” Surah Tahrim ayah 6

Your life will only change when you accept that there will be rough times, I mean really rough times when you feel like you’re suffocating. There will be times when you feel like you are so alone. Don’t succumb to the negative self-talk or the whispers of shaytaan. Do not acquiesce to his request of you to give up; believe that Allah wants more from you and for you. You say you want Jannah. You say you want success, but Allah will not give it to you until you have proven yourself worthy. He never requires us to be invincible, but he does ask us to believe, “DO”(take action) good deeds, and seek His help. If we do these things we CAN be better than ever.

Let me introduce myself

My name is Khadijah AbdulHaqq. I am originally from Philadelphia, Pa. I now jubilantly reside in Memphis, TN. On this blog, you will find everything me, mostly my writing expressions, but sometimes pics, art, and other stuff. I am on a journey to completely loving myself and becoming my best self. If you are on the same journey or just want to be a part of mine, then join me here on Ramblings of An Unconventional Muslimah.